I ❤️ this. I was exactly the same way in my late teens- early 20s. I was trying so hard to figure out who I was that I didn’t want to make the wrong decision. But once I got to know myself and started choosing myself, it felt freeing. And once you decide what’s right for you, it’s like choosing yourself again and again. Over time, I realized I can like what I want without having to explain it to anyone. As long as you’re happy, there’s no reason to feel bad. There’s also something good in taking the time to weigh decisions it helps you trust yourself even more. You’ll get there, love. This stage is supposed to be an adventure.
This felt painfully familiar. I think indecision like this isn’t about not knowing what you want, it’s about caring too much, seeing every choice as a tiny fork in identity. Tote bag vs backpack becomes logic vs romance, coffee vs tea becomes mood vs ritual. Of course it’s exhausting. loved reading this <33 also my sister loved repunzel so the title made me smile :)
I’ve *always* been this way, and I realised it’s because I’ve always had more important decisions to make that require actual intentional thought. For example, essay writing involves so many micro decisions, all of which are important to the final piece. But ask me what I want to eat? Nope. Not sure. Don’t care. Can’t think about it. It’s my brain’s way of checking out, to protect itself from decision-induced burnout, I guess!
Jessica I absolutely loved this. I think it's quite an endearing quality personally. We are the same person in this aspect! We eventually make a decision and I don't believe there is any wrong one. We will always eventually be led to our desired destination learning something valuable along the way. 😉
Haha!😅 Sorry Blair! It was not so much a typo but more of a brain fart. 😅🫣 I had just read Jessica Loveless comment on your piece right above me and meant to say your name as well in the comment. This is what happens when I have not had my coffee yet!
From someone who takes a whole career shift decision in a second, but overthinking all night telling myself why i don't need a girlfriend, you're not bad yourself 🦋🙌
What you wrote is actually far more self-aware than you’re giving yourself credit for. Indecision doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you — often it means you’re seeing too much. You notice the trade-offs, the possibilities, the stories attached to each choice. That’s not a flaw; it’s a sign of someone who cares.
One of the hardest lessons to learn (and one many of us are still learning) is that every choice, even a small one, comes with loss. Choosing chocolate means saying no to strawberry. Choosing the backpack means giving up the tote-bag version of you for that day. And that can feel heavy when you’re young, because it feels like every choice is secretly a vote for the person you’re becoming. That’s a lot of pressure to put on ice cream.
Re: the journal with the butterfly or moon phases… apparently the one I found has a moth in it and not a butterfly (haha….oooooops). It’s from indigo and they may only be in Canada, but worth checking out! 🦋
I ❤️ this. I was exactly the same way in my late teens- early 20s. I was trying so hard to figure out who I was that I didn’t want to make the wrong decision. But once I got to know myself and started choosing myself, it felt freeing. And once you decide what’s right for you, it’s like choosing yourself again and again. Over time, I realized I can like what I want without having to explain it to anyone. As long as you’re happy, there’s no reason to feel bad. There’s also something good in taking the time to weigh decisions it helps you trust yourself even more. You’ll get there, love. This stage is supposed to be an adventure.
I feel reassured, tysm 🥹🩷
Jessica, you have to change your last name if you love this. Just saying.
Lol I married into it! 😂💞
This felt painfully familiar. I think indecision like this isn’t about not knowing what you want, it’s about caring too much, seeing every choice as a tiny fork in identity. Tote bag vs backpack becomes logic vs romance, coffee vs tea becomes mood vs ritual. Of course it’s exhausting. loved reading this <33 also my sister loved repunzel so the title made me smile :)
Omg tysm, I love how you've described this 🥹 the logic vs romance, mood vs ritual, and you caught the rapunzel reference <33 Thank youu sm again 🩷
I’ve *always* been this way, and I realised it’s because I’ve always had more important decisions to make that require actual intentional thought. For example, essay writing involves so many micro decisions, all of which are important to the final piece. But ask me what I want to eat? Nope. Not sure. Don’t care. Can’t think about it. It’s my brain’s way of checking out, to protect itself from decision-induced burnout, I guess!
The idea of this being a self-preservation method of the brain, whoa I agree lol
Really resonated with me, you expressed the frustration about being indecisive so well.
Thank youu kajal!! 💗
Jessica I absolutely loved this. I think it's quite an endearing quality personally. We are the same person in this aspect! We eventually make a decision and I don't believe there is any wrong one. We will always eventually be led to our desired destination learning something valuable along the way. 😉
Is Jessica a typo 👀
Haha!😅 Sorry Blair! It was not so much a typo but more of a brain fart. 😅🫣 I had just read Jessica Loveless comment on your piece right above me and meant to say your name as well in the comment. This is what happens when I have not had my coffee yet!
Thank youu Sherry ❤️ so true, what matters is we learn along and get better!!
This resonated with me a lot, especially the indecision part I can truly relate to that and I really enjoyed your writing
Thank youu Imi 💗
I love this too, and my daughter is around your age. She is not really like this, but I was! Great piece - love it.
Awww thank youu ♥️
this is so real and you expressed it so well. you’re amazing!!!
Ahhh thank youu Diya 🫶🏻
Love this
Ahh thank youu 🥹💖
From someone who takes a whole career shift decision in a second, but overthinking all night telling myself why i don't need a girlfriend, you're not bad yourself 🦋🙌
❤️
What you wrote is actually far more self-aware than you’re giving yourself credit for. Indecision doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you — often it means you’re seeing too much. You notice the trade-offs, the possibilities, the stories attached to each choice. That’s not a flaw; it’s a sign of someone who cares.
One of the hardest lessons to learn (and one many of us are still learning) is that every choice, even a small one, comes with loss. Choosing chocolate means saying no to strawberry. Choosing the backpack means giving up the tote-bag version of you for that day. And that can feel heavy when you’re young, because it feels like every choice is secretly a vote for the person you’re becoming. That’s a lot of pressure to put on ice cream.
As always love your writing ♥️
Re: the journal with the butterfly or moon phases… apparently the one I found has a moth in it and not a butterfly (haha….oooooops). It’s from indigo and they may only be in Canada, but worth checking out! 🦋
https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/luna-moth-journal/9781441342003.html
Thank you!!